Hello world! What this blog, lifeinthepastlane.me, is all about!

This is a blog, both of a person, and of a journey through life. It’s meant to be a source of inspiration and clarity.

It's intent is to be insightful, perceptive and supportive in today's hectic and uncertain age. 

“Although nobody can go back and get a new beginning, anybody can start now and get a new ending”. Roberto Perez

Over the 67 years of my life, as with all of us, I’ve observed and listened to many stories of extreme hardship as well as extraordinary success and failure. By comparison, my struggles in life, starting at the young age of 5, have been harder than some, while easier than the struggles and difficulties of others.

At 5 years of age, I was in an automobile accident. I broke both my legs, both arms, compressed vertebrae in my neck and back, as well as a fractured pelvic bone, which…never healed in perfect alignment. Healing from the physical injuries of the accident was not the challenge. I was in a plaster body cast from my ankles to my shoulders. The body cast kept my legs, arms, back, and lower body immobile and able to heal properly.

It may be difficult to imagine a life that, every morning, started out the same way. My father carried me to the living room couch, “placing me” at one end, with a pillow under my head..and a bedpan underneath me. A nurse, hired by my parents to come in and tend to me during the day. In this state, I existed and lived, watching all the people in my life..brothers, sister, mother, father, maid or nurse, move constantly through the house..though seldom ever engaging me in conversation. My days started with Captain Kangaroo and generally ended with the five o’clock news. In short, I became a spectator of life! I learned..accepted that I was “part of a family unit” but..as an active participatory member of the family, I was simply ..not in the game!

In short, this experience gave me a unique perspective on life. From the day the cast was removed, an ordeal in and of itself, I saw and felt myself an observer in life, choosing when and where, or in what I would engage. It’s difficult to describe what it’s like see yourself as a “member of a family” …but never..PART of a family. Over the years, I’ve been a member of many, many teams… both in my business life and in my personal and recreational life. But I’ve never been able to fully allow myself to feel part of much of anything.

This inability to truly connect with others, to truly feel part of something, be it a team or an intimate relationship with a woman, has created both opportunities to learn and grow, as well as to retreat and avoid. I’ve struggled all of my life with never fully recognizing or appreciating my success. I have come to accept as well never being able to fully engage and love those closest to me who wanted to be meaningful and supportive people in my life.

Getting back to what this blog is, what it is trying to accomplish, it is a sort of “therapy tool”. I no longer live in the U.S. and just recently lost my wife to cancer. Though she and I had been separated for a few years and she was..clearly moving on with her life, the loss was, and to some extent, continues to be somewhat devastating for me. Many of the issues and challenges I’ve discussed here were integral parts in the failure of our marriage. I recognize and accept that the failure began with me. However, as with any relationship, there is a responsibility of the other person to see and recognize when they need to help their partner. While Karen was many things, she was never one to reach out and offer understanding or guidance in these last years.

In summary…what I hope this blog to be is centered around a few things. This blog intends to be:

1. A recognition and an effort to understand what it means to communicate with others in our lives today. What we see today, what we live in today, in the areas of communication and understanding each other, is vastly different from what it was when I was growing up. I hope this blog will provide a pathway, a sense of purpose, and security in engaging and reaching out to our friends, relatives..wives..lovers..partners in life.
2. Reflective of a life and a person who, through their professional and personal work, always tried to be the best step-father, teammate, co-worker, husband, and community member possible;
3. Open to anyone who feels there’s benefit, or a connection to any difficulty or challenge in life they’re dealing with;
4. A reflection of some of the self-defeating and destructive habits which have plagued us all, as well as a recognition and acceptance of the hard work and achievement we sometimes dismiss, “if I can do it..anyone can do it”.

Over the coming days, weeks..hopefully years, I will, from this point, tell my story. And, with that effort, encourage anyone who feels lost or uncertain in life today, to reach out and connect with me, or others who may see, read and connect with challenges and difficulties many of us share in todayWelcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!